MarriageVine.com - Marriage 411

Into Me See

Wed, 15 Jun 2011 15:48:49 PST

The Dictionary defines intimacy as “a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.” In the social sciences we think of it as closeness, openness, vulnerability, and transparency. Pronouncing it into-me-see does a great job of giving the meaning in the way the word sounds. It is letting another person look deep inside you.

The Same Old Dance

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 09:49:18 PST

Are you tired of arguing with your spouse over the same old issues? Do you dream of a marriage with less conflict and more intimacy? Are you struggling under a load of resentment?

The key to creating a deeper bond in your marriage may lie buried in your childhood.

Your early life experiences create an "intimacy imprint" - an underlying blueprint that shapes your behavior, beliefs, and expectations of all future relationships, especially your marriage. In How We Love, relationship experts Milan and Kay Yerkovich help you pinpoint the reason your marriage is struggling - and they reveal exactly what you can do about it.

Drawing on the powerful tool of attachment theory, the Yerkoviches identify four types of injured imprints that combine in marriage to trap couples in a repetitive dance of pain. As you discover how your relationship has been guided by these imprints, you'll gain the insights you need to stop stepping on each other's toes and instead allow yourselves to be swept along by the music of a richer, deeper relationship.

Excerpted from How We Love.

Developing Intimacy

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 09:21:02 PST

How To Know If My Spouse Is Cheating

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 09:18:25 PST

It's a sad fact, but this article is necessary because an ever-increasing number of people are wondering if a husband or wife is cheating and what signs to look for to know if their suspicions are accurate. You might be wondering if your husband or wife is cheating on you or you could be concerned for a friend whose spouse might be having an affair.

In today's world, adultery is becoming common, especially with websites existing solely to bring people together for affairs. On such websites, people actually advertise themselves as wanting to have an affair because they are unhappy in their marriage or because they are sexual addicts.

Praying Together

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 09:16:32 PST

Question: My husband doesn’t feel comfortable praying out loud with myself or the children. Do you have any suggestions?

We often have an image of what ideal spiritual leadership ought to look like in our marriage, particularly for our husband. When the reality doesn’t fit our image we quickly find ourselves struggling with disappointment, lack of fulfillment, even anger. It’s important to remember the Bible doesn’t prescribe the exact methods of providing spiritual leadership in a marriage as much as it does general principles to use.

Discipline in a Blended Family

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 09:15:29 PST

Question: We are both in our second marriage and the issue of who should discipline the children keeps coming up? How can we keep our stepchildren from becoming a source of division in our marriage?

One of the common unforeseen consequences of a second marriage is the difficulties that occur when each mate brings a child or children with them from their first marriage. It’s quite common for tensions and disagreements in a blended family to erupt over who should discipline whom, and how much discipline is called for.

It’s important for both mates to realize that a step parent will rarely be seen, at least at first (or even ever), in the same light as the children see their biological parent.

What If Your Spouse Cheats?

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 09:11:48 PST

When you married, if you’re like most couples, you made a vow pledging your faithfulness. But now you’ve discovered your spouse didn’t take that vow seriously. It doesn’t matter whether it was a one-night stand or a long-term affair, the results are the same—your spouse’s action has left in its wake fear, doubt, distrust, betrayal, hurt, and anger.

Ultimately, it’s what you do with these emotions—how you process them—that makes the difference. For you and your marriage’s sake, you need to process these emotions in a positive way. Here’s help.

Hedges: Protecting Your Marriage

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 09:09:58 PST

Hedges. You probably don’t spend much time thinking about them. Bills? Yes. Work? Yes. The kids? Yes. But not hedges. What comes to mind when you think of one, anyway? A hedge fund? A hedgehog? An oddly-shaped row of bushes awkwardly leveled-off at the top, prickly and just about as appealing as a bad haircut?

While a hedge might not be what your property needs, it is what your marriage needs. When we talk about building a hedge in your marriage, we’re actually talking about constructing a mutually protective investment that will allow your marriage to flourish like never before.

Should I Reveal My Sexual Past?

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 09:04:14 PST

Question: Should I reveal to my husband events from my past, even though I believe he could never find out about them?

There is a threefold test I share with people who ask if they should tell their spouses either about their distant past, or about things that they’ve done since their marriages began. Most often the question comes from people who’ve had an affair, but the same test works well for deciding whether to share any secret you’re keeping from your mate.

How to Confess an Affair

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 08:59:27 PST

There are several things you need to consider before telling your spouse. If you walk in and confess without having done introspection, you probably are going to create an even bigger problem.

Making Time For One Another

Tue, 01 Jun 2010 14:38:33 PST

No matter how committed a couple is, a subtle emptiness and a restless void camp out in every relationship when they don't make time for one another a priority. 10 ideas to make time for one another.

Tithing When Your Spouse Objects

Fri, 21 May 2010 12:18:18 PST

Because tithing involves money, it is a prime candidate for controversy between a husband and wife.

When Your Loved One Doesn't Love God

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 10:04:36 PST

Nancy Kennedy shares practical wisdom from a first-hand compassionate perspective of one married to someone who does not share her faith.

10 Ways to Save a Marriage After an Affair

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 12:18:52 PST

Understanding the categories of affairs and 10 things to do to save a marriage after an affair. Written by Joe Beam.

Wives: Encourage Manliness Through Your Femininity

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 12:12:46 PST

What a man needs is an emotionally grounded, God-dependent, soft woman who understands her husband, loves him deeply, knows how to draw healthy boundaries, and—most important—encourages every step he takes toward true manliness.

Tension Over Money Is Killing Our Marriage

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 12:07:09 PST

Tensions over money are threatening our marriage. How can we keep it from tearing us apart?

Written by Dr. Bob Moeller

When Your Husband Loses His Job

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 10:33:46 PST

What can you do to support your husband as he goes through unemployment — or any difficult time? He needs more than just platitudes like, “Oh, it’ll be all right. You’ll find an even better job soon.” There are five ways you can give him the kind of support he really needs. Written by Christina Woodside.

5 Ways to Be the Husband God Wants You To Be

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 09:52:00 PST

Paying heed to these ﬁve directives from 1 Peter can change your life and your marriage and make you the man and husband God wants you to be. It’s deﬁnitely something well worth praying about. Written by Stormie Omartian

Understanding the Differences Between Men and Women

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 17:30:30 PST

I would venture to say that most marital difficulties center around one fact— men and women are TOTALLY different. Written by Dr. Gary Smalley.

Why Women Leave Men

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 17:16:45 PST

Women file for divorce twice as often as men. What are the top reasons?